In and around 2 months in the past of now, I decided I needed a truck. In these days of Hollywood green and sell-your-body-parts gas prices, I think I better justify my decision. Oh, it’s a 1976 Ford F250 Highboy with 35″ tires and a 200-pound solid steel rear bumper.
Reason #1: Hauling crap. I have two trees, a maple and a pine of some sort, which were attempting to pounce on the roof of my house. I interceded for my helpless house and purchased one of those long pruner poles (with a gnarly saw blade on the end) to karate chop the trees’s tushys. After the slaughter I looked at the large piles of severed limbs and realized they probably wouldn’t fit in my 2-door Honda Accord (if only I had the 4-door).
Reason #2: Hauling supplies. Along with the two trees, I have a roof on my house, a fireplace chimney on the roof of my house, and a garage attic, all requiring a ladder to safely reach them. Even though I’d gotten that long tree pruner, I still needed to get on the roof to reach some of the branches threatening my house. The previous owner left me a chimney sweep so I wanted to try that out. And I wanted to check out the garage attic to see what anti-treasures might be lurking up there. (When I pulled down the creepy dirty old baby car seat, I discovered a giant hornet’s nest the size of a giant hornet’s nest). Well, the ladder actually fit just fine in my car but I had to red flag the end and ask the Lowe’s checkout girl what the legal limit out the back is, which was awkward because I get supernervous talking to girls, which she promptly told me 2 feet, which I then diverted my eyes to the floor, which she only knew the legal limit because she looked it up for someone earlier that day, which I was relieved to go do the flag thing that color-matched my rosy cheeks and run away from girl. But when I buy a kitchen floor there’s NO WAY I’ll fit that in my car because my kitchen is maybe like 20′ x 30′ and my car only like 10′ x 6′, but then again my truck is only like 16′ x 6.5′ so I don’t know what I’m gonna do…wait I’m being told kitchen floors don’t come in one piece?
Reason #3: Adventure. How else am I supposed to get into the mountains for backpacking, rock climbing, backcountry skiing, offroading, and other various and sundry excursions? I wanted a canopy so I can build a platform to sleep in the back with my gear underneath, just like Shane and his followers!
Reason #4: Chicks. Chicks love guys with big trucks and bigger egos. I’ve been wondering what I was missing all these years and realized it was the big truck.
Reason #5: Increase my carbon footprint and destroy the atmosphere. My carbon footprint is barely 9 tons of CO2 per year and the U.S. national average is 18.58 tons so I’m way behind!
I’m plumb out of reasons but I think it’s totally justified. Besides, it’s just a really sweet yet mean truck. I started cleaning up the engine (390 FE) to prep it for some high performance additions so watch for the update…
OOOOO so there is the truck i have been hearing about.
The only question i have is : what are you doing with your little honda accord?? :]
Nice Truck Man!
sirrob | June 18th, 2007 at 8:24 pm |I plan on carrying it around in the back of the truck…
admin | June 19th, 2007 at 9:46 am |You neglected to inform us about the pumpin’ stereo system, bass turned way down, blastin’ Lynyrd Skynrd full time. Free Bird baby!
Marshall | June 20th, 2007 at 8:51 am |Oh yeah, haha, it does have a CD player but the memory isn’t working so you have to start the album from the beginning every time and readjust everything! It’s awesome. I blast Irish songs most of the time these days because nothing screams badass like Danny Boy.
admin | June 20th, 2007 at 12:05 pm |Who is this admin guy anyhow? I mean really, what kind of parents name their kid admin. Not even with a capital A. That’s gotta give a guy a complex or something.
Marshall | June 22nd, 2007 at 9:51 am |admin is short for administrator.
Underclown | June 22nd, 2007 at 10:23 am |I can’t fault any of your logic. It looks like it came straight off the #3 conveyor at the awesomeness factory.
dp | July 7th, 2007 at 12:55 am |Hey…the theme works…well done captain.
Marshall | July 9th, 2007 at 9:24 am |Captain of what? Poop?
Underclown | July 18th, 2007 at 1:42 am |Dude I just read the title of this post for the first time. I’m sorry about your turtle head.
Marshall | August 3rd, 2007 at 9:10 am |ack! lawdy lawdy
daniac | September 27th, 2007 at 7:31 pm |didn’t happen to hang on to that carseat, didga…………?
red | October 10th, 2007 at 8:37 pm |